Tuesday, December 17, 2013

I don't even know

I'm not sure what to write tonight. I have some thoughts, but they will not suffice. In an attempt to be original, I am reminded that so many others have written works that are almost identical to what I am doing now. So am I infringing on copyrights, or am I somehow skating around the thin ice?

I do not even know, but I feel like it is ok. Maybe three people will read my posts and I am in high doubts that any one of those three people will sue me or report me to some higher power. If they dare to do so, they will find out that I have zero dollars. So come at me if you think I'm overstepping my boundaries. Because that's all that patents and copyrights are. Boundaries that are seldom announced but always there.

The enclosure movement was successful in Europe because people started caring about their land usage. Lives became better and society was able to improve. Copyrights and patents are just like the enclosure movement. They fence in ideas so others are unable to grow upon them. Unlike the enclosure movement, ideas and inventions become locked in time unless others are willing to pay the price to use or improve upon them. So how are our crops supposed to grow if our ideas are waterlogged with legislation?

I understand that some ideas need to be protected, but there are plenty of others that can be released for adaptation and reflection. We need to be able to throw manure onto the pastures to help the crops grow better and stronger. But who I am I to tell people what they should do? I'm just a kid who is probably breaking copyright laws as I type. I don't even know. 

This was what I saw on my pier, let's hope I don't infringe copyrights so I can continue to ask you what you see on your pier. 

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Criticizing criticism

Being critical can either be a great skill or an evil curse, depending on the usage. Everyone can be critical at times. I definitely am critical of most things because inside my thoughts I am constantly debating the existence of everything. Yet, very few know what I am most critical about. 


The few things that I do not enjoy to criticize are literature, movies, and art. To me, these categories represent expression and to criticize them is to criticize their creators. That is why when we read novels in class that I dislike analyzing because we do not what the author is thinking while reading the book. Maybe they accidentally allude to Jesus on every other page. Also, whatever we criticize in these categories cannot change them. If you think the author should have used a more subtle way to explain the character's Achilles heel, there is nothing that can change that book. The words have been printed, shouldn't we accept, rather than criticize?

But everything must be analyzed with a fine tooth comb because apparently that betters society. I must say the criticism can be constructive, but it can also be destructive. It's much easier to criticize a dead man's work than work of a living author because no one can get hurt. What if T. S. Eliot's criticism of Hamlet set Shakespeare's life into a dark spiral where he could only think of those words for the rest of his life until his depression-filled cloud envelops his soul? Well then there would a problem in Denmark. As we criticize the living, we must remember to do so in a manner that reaffirms people rather than destroy people. 

This day on my pier I criticized criticism itself. Not well, because I am not fond of written criticism opposed to verbal or mental criticism. I invite you to sit on your pier and meta-criticize. It could become enjoyable.

Where is the Ham at?

Denmark is the home if Hamlet, but also one of my top vacation destinations. Other than the almost endless days, Denmark is home to some really great architecture and history. My dream is to watch the long sunsets from a boat off of the coast of Denmark. I have to thank Hamlet and Shakespeare for reminding me of this place. Hopefully one day I get to sit on the edge of a pier in Denmark.

Note: This was written on November 4th, but somehow was never posted.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

To eat or not to eat


Man is it good. But at times, some people do not want to eat. It is alright if it is every once in a while, but if it is a constant feeling, there might be a problem. And if it is a problem, you might not be able to see it. Those around you will only notice if you make a point of it or they realize that you are losing weight at a rapid rate. It's hard to watch. It's hard to hear. It's hard to bear.

Seeing someone decide to not eat is painful, especially when you have as large of an appetite as me. Each day, they don't find appeal in foods they once loved. Then they get upset because they cannot eat even if they really want to deep down. It's hard to watch. It's hard to hear. It's hard to bear.

Doctors can only help so much, it is up to you to do the rest and fight for your life. But negative thoughts can hinder your recovery. The constant idea of dying is always on their mind. When they are upset, they scream it at the top of their lungs because their pain is unbearable. It's hard to watch. It's hard to hear. It's hard to bear.

When someone you love is suffering from stomach ailments and depression, you can't help but tearing up whenever someone mentions suicide because in your house, it could become a reality. In senior thus far, I have heard and learned about suicide more than I have had in my past. It could not have come at any worse of a time. The topic of depression and suicide make me worried. Watching videos and reading about it makes me terrified. But the worst part is coming home, wondering if it had taken over. It's hard to watch. It's hard to hear. It's hard to bear.

The first time that I heard a glimpse of real depression just about broke me. At first, I thought their actions were just disrespectful. Then I learned, they had more substance than I thought. When I hear outbursts of the cloud, I think back to that first moment and remember that pang of Hell that I had experienced. No one should have to see or experience these pains, but in our imperfect world it is a given. A given that I never would have thought could happen in my world. It's hard to watch. It's hard to hear. It's hard to bear.

I cannot say anything. I watch what I say, so a beast is not woken. I wonder if when I tiptoe, they can hear that I am not being real with them. It hurts me to not be me when I am around the cloud. To tempt the storm would be to release the emotions that could end the storm for good. I do not dare to tempt the tempest. I miss how we once were even if we fought most of the time. But I didn't have to pretend most of the time. I could be me and they could destroy me with harsh comments, but that was a better time than this. At least then, I was the one getting hurt. It's hard to watch. It's hard to hear. It's hard to bear.


"To be or not to be" is a quote that means more to me now than ever before. Hamlet may have said them, but he never had to feel their pain. It is one thing to contemplate life when you are a fictional character, but when you are real, it literally destroys everyone in your life. Hamlet isn't real, but his words almost seem to publicize the idea that contemplating life is a necessity when things get tough in life. I did not realize until this point in typing that his words actually make me mad. I imagine that suicide was not as common as it is today, but I could be wrong. This play, this character made suicide an option for those dealing with depression. If these words had never been scripted, far fewer people would even consider taking their own lives. How can this be a question? To be is the only option because life can only get better as long as you can see it that way. Hamlet may have been depressed by his situation, but he does not need to contemplate taking his life. He is a prince who is sad. He is not a man with problems deeper than an abyss. It's possible for him to have saw a light at the end of his misery. He need not say his famous lines because now, it's a common thought in depressed people. Thanks a lot Hamlet. You make families fall to pieces. You made people who were shining stars in their own ways burn out before their time was up. You are the reason that heart strings are pulled, torn, and  thrashed. Your words have made depression worse than it has to be, and for that I dislike you. It's hard to read.

(Don't mind the spanish subtitles)

This hurts me so bad. The one suffering does not realize that they are making the ones around them suffer as well. To watch someone with depression is comparable to watching a soldier walking through a field of mines. One wrong step and they can be gone. But we always hope that the soldier finds their way to the safety of the meadow. We try to help, but sometimes we need to be quiet. We need to help, but sometimes we are thrown aside. We aspire to help, but sometimes it works. There are times where things seem almost normal and times where you just want to cry. We hope that love and patience can make good days last longer. Some days, its just not possible no matter how hard you try. What we must remember is that Hamlet's words are only words. When those words become actions is where we lose. We cannot let that happen. Keep fighting and cheering for them, even if they do not want to hear it. Because you know that life is beautiful and one day they will remember that. This is what I see from my pier, I hope you do not see the same.